A letter to Little D (Possible Trigger)

A letter to Little D (Possible Trigger)
Dewey2k

Dewey2k

I was thinking about the concept of an inner child last night... who am I kidding? I've been thinking about it for the last several months. It's not been until the last couple of days that it made sense to me in a tangible way (Thank you Larry!). So, I took a page from some book by someone somewhere, and I wrote a letter to my inner child.

This is one of the most gut-wrenching things I have done in a very long time, but I want to share it with you.

Big D wrote:

Hi,

Its me. Its been a long time. I wish I could remember exactly when we started to drift apart. It would make things easier if I could pinpoint when that was, because I would then know where to meet you, to try and get to know you better.

A lot happened to us when we were a little boy, but nothing so bad as what HE did to us. If that hadnt happened, I think wed still be together. I wouldnt have gone through what should have been my childhood without a child inside of me without you inside me. Without you in my life, I didnt have friends. I didnt know what it was to be a kid and enjoy kid things and play kid games. I never learned how to have fun or relax. Without you, I was a shell. I was a jaded adult in a child-sized body, unwilling to take the risks that others take when they are learning to be human. I didnt learn how to have relationships with others because you are what other people are, and I am not. But thats all over now.

I have said that what HE did to us killed you, but I know now that isnt true. Youve just been hiding deep inside, waiting for me to come looking for you. I want you back. I only hope that its not too late for us to be friends.

So here I am. Im so sorry that it took me so long for me to understand you were crying. Im so sorry that it took me so long to figure out your were hurting so bad. Im so sorry it took me so long to see that you were alone and scared, and I wish I could change it, but I cant; its over and done. But I can tell you this:

I love you now and will always love you.
I will keep you safe when youre scared.
I will comfort you when youre sad.
I will never, ever leave you again.

I need you with me. Please, let me love you. Let me protect you and care for you. You are a part of me that was forgotten until now, and I will never again forget you or leave you, from this day forward.

I love you, d, from the bottom of my heart, mind and soul.

D
Click to expand...
Thank you.

-Dwayne
 
And thank you Dwayne for posting this letter. I sat here and cried, my friend, for you, for me, for all of us who had our childhood stolen.

What an awesome piece of work you've done with that!

Hugs,

John

[typo's :( ]
 
kinda hard to read right now, too much MS today

Glad u did it I will relook at the letter later!!!
 
Dewey,

that is a cool letter, hope you send it.
He is still there little d, he will hear you, and he knows you still love him,

ste
 
Dewey, Right on! Nice job with your letter. I know how hard that must have been for you. One more step in the right direction.

You encouraged me to share my own letter. I wrote it over 2 years ago and haven't read it since...
 
Dewey - that strikes a chord with me! It's almost 2 years since I wrote a similar letter to my inner child.

It's been a remarkable 2 years of growth , fear, understanding, self realisation, realising that I can trust some people, wondering where the road will lead.

By the end of this month I may have some better answers...I've finally taken the paedophile that abused me to court (note - at last I did not call him 'my abuser').

Dewey - it's a long walk this life we live, just hold little D's hand when you walk it!

I'm hoping that shortly little & big E will become one! We'll keep the sense of childishness though...we lost it for a long time, so we both deserve to go a bit daft now!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Dwayne,

Me too.

I've been saying for 40 years that I hate me, and I said that I love me for the first time I can ever remember just yesterday. I posted it in the spirituality forum if you care to read it.

You hang in there my friend and remember, you are loved

Darrel
 
Dwayne,

It is nver to late to discover him buried inside of u.

Keep writng and or talking to him. Get to know him, he is worth it and so are you :)

Glad u were able to express it in such a beautiful way.

H.I
 
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