A Great Bunch of Guys

[Nancy]

Hey everyone,
You are all a great bunch of guys! Whether you know it or not, you are doing something for this girl, here. Whether you're venting, because you're mad, or venting because you hurt, you're bringing something out in me that wasn't there before. You've touched my life & my heart & filled a void. None of you are losers. In my book, you're all winners & you're all going to come out on top. Know why? Because you've got friends who care, there's so many here, & that's wonderful, how everyone supports each other.

What a blessing to have.

This is the most greatest site for men to be able to share with each other, so they know they're not alone & others have felt the same way. I may not be a victim of SA, but I've been down some valleys in my life, felt a lot of loneliness too, cried thousands of tears, but pain helps you understand where someone else is coming from. We all have feelings & we all need to know that somebody cares.
Well, just to let you know, this girl cares a WHOLE LOT for all of you. And if there was any way in the world, I would take away all of your heartaches & toss them aside & fill you up with happiness so much, that you'd burst. That's what I wish I could do. (I hope you don't think I'm too gushy, I do get carried away!), I just wish it so much for you all.
I'm here & if any of you needs a sister, or a female friend for an ear, you can count on me. I'll never turn you away. Whatever you're feeling, you can tell me. I won't reject anybody. Not a soul. I got a big heart that's got lots of room for you.
With every good wish for healing in your lives.
Take good care of yourselves, because you're worth it!
Always your friend,
Nancy

 

[kolisha54]

Nancy - Whether you know this or not, your protestations of support are having the exact opposite impact on some of the people you profess to care so much about.

Our Men feel badly enough about their pasts without feeling that they need to be held up as paragons of courage & catalysts for someone else's vicarious identification.

As Tabor said elsewhere, why oh why oh why would someone with no "business" to be here WANT to be here????

As Survivors & as Partners, we have all experienced deep deep pain. We do not expect to be congratulated for it: we ARE who we ARE. We LOVE who we LOVE.

If you need more excitement, there are many wonderful films & books you can read.

But PULL-EASE: carefully reconsider your posting here if you don't have a first-hand involvement with these issues!!! This only serves to undermine issues of TRUST in our Community. Our Men have struggled hard & deep to be as "normal" as anyone else - and, for all they have been through, they ARE NORMAL!!! Putting them into a fish bowl for observation does NOT help.

Thank you for your understanding.

 

[Caetel]

I don't understand you. You are talking of your book so are you "Heather" in disguise ???
Personnally I feel very unsafe knowing you are here to write a book though I wasn't aware of this before. Please be respectful of the guys, be respectful of our pain and struggling.
If you are that Horrible Heather girl, get out of here NOW !

 

[kolisha54]

Hey Caro!

I think the "book" may actually have been an "innocent" figure of speech, ca va dire: "selon moi...."

But your reaction just reinforces the point I am making above: all of us - Male & Female Survivors/ Partners have a great distrust if we feel we are being patronized or condescended to.

We ALL need to be very careful about this....

Hugs,

 

Nancy,

I'm going to assume you only have a good heart and mean no harm.

But being down "in valleys" is not like what I go through. I have never been able to climb out of the canyon. The walls are too steep. You cannot know what it is to live EVERY single day of your life with the rage, the worthlesness, and the shame that I live with.

The guys and gals here deal with this devastation on a DAILY basis. It is not just our passing interest or our "do gooder" attitude (and I am not saying these describe you.) that brings me here. It is a matter of desparation and survival. If you could walk in my shoes for 24 hours, maybe you could understand.

So while I choose to believe that your heart may be in the right place, please be careful what you say. We have a lot of triggers here and you don't have the experience or the knowledge to know what they are.

Sincerely,

Marc

 

[Lloydy]

In light of recent events at MS I have closed this topic while the Moderators discuss what actions, if any, to take.

I would appreciate it if further discussions were not continued in new topics as we fear there is the potential for further argument that would be harmfull.

Lloydy ( Forums Administrator )