A good day
It is perhaps not of relation, 'survivor' things. But it is perhaps importence, to share also good things here, because they can happen also.
I am awake now, late, because I had a good day. I wished to 'hold onto' it so much I can. It is not rationale, I think, to not want to sleep to lose 'good day', but they do not always happen. Is not been so much recent for me.
It is not that anything special, or anything exciting happen. It do not need to. Even as I do not have so much 'friends' here, where I am now, it is not that I do not like the job or the people I work with. I have much respect for the people I work for, and enjoy greatly all of the teams and athletes we work with. To be around so much talent and happiness of young people, normal and safe young people, it is beautiful thing. There is one teenage girl I work with, she is so 'young' and happy and silly. As a teenager should be. No, not it is how I was as teenager. But I could not resent her, to have what I did not. Just to be around her, and her friends like her, it make me smile. Her dance partner, he is 'normal' 19 year old boy, and his interests, his attentions, they so much different than mine were at his age. Again, it is not make me sad of things. It make me very happy to see it, safe, happy, normal children. They do exist. Parents who love, not abuse. Who do not hurt their children. I see it, more than before, all the times. I do not know why it seem so important, or so special to me today. I have known these children and all I work with for months now. Just, something of today, it just bring to me sunshine. I like it, to feel that, and to hold to it.
I hope it, others here, they find that again soon. I go to sleep now, and I will hope for another good day. I will hope for less pain, for no bad dreams, for no panick or the flashbacks. Maybe I will be lucky, and get it. Maybe I will not. But I think perhaps I am finding more the hope that there will be more 'good days' now.
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I am awake now, late, because I had a good day. I wished to 'hold onto' it so much I can. It is not rationale, I think, to not want to sleep to lose 'good day', but they do not always happen. Is not been so much recent for me.
It is not that anything special, or anything exciting happen. It do not need to. Even as I do not have so much 'friends' here, where I am now, it is not that I do not like the job or the people I work with. I have much respect for the people I work for, and enjoy greatly all of the teams and athletes we work with. To be around so much talent and happiness of young people, normal and safe young people, it is beautiful thing. There is one teenage girl I work with, she is so 'young' and happy and silly. As a teenager should be. No, not it is how I was as teenager. But I could not resent her, to have what I did not. Just to be around her, and her friends like her, it make me smile. Her dance partner, he is 'normal' 19 year old boy, and his interests, his attentions, they so much different than mine were at his age. Again, it is not make me sad of things. It make me very happy to see it, safe, happy, normal children. They do exist. Parents who love, not abuse. Who do not hurt their children. I see it, more than before, all the times. I do not know why it seem so important, or so special to me today. I have known these children and all I work with for months now. Just, something of today, it just bring to me sunshine. I like it, to feel that, and to hold to it.
I hope it, others here, they find that again soon. I go to sleep now, and I will hope for another good day. I will hope for less pain, for no bad dreams, for no panick or the flashbacks. Maybe I will be lucky, and get it. Maybe I will not. But I think perhaps I am finding more the hope that there will be more 'good days' now.
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