A bird, a plane, it's Underdog **Triggering**
***Trigger Warning***
I have been reading for some time on MS, seeing trigger warnings and not having any problems. Really thinking I was a pretty tough cooky. Then I read TJ Jeff's story. Breezed right by the trigger warnings and read on. What he was writing was hitting wayyyyy to close to home. I suddenly realized that I was getting knots in my stomach. I was also beginning to feel nauseous.
I began to tremble and I could feel tears welling up. I will never take trigger warnings lightly again! I am going to write some things down below because I do not like being whipped. Pun intended.
*****TRIGGER WARNING***** TRIGGER WARNING*********
I can still see my mother's eyes so angry. I saw her leave and that thing take her place and I just hoped I was still here when it was over.
The name calling, the beatings for the least little reason, to help with my education and for what my little brother had done. There is also one time when I definitely thought I was dieing. I had been near death on several occasions before, but I had been terrified and gone unconcious due to lack of oxygen. This time I was about 4 and my mother decided I needed to be whipped, her mother decided I had had enought. Someone dares tell my mother what to do, I think not. I knew I was in trouble the second I heard grandma speak. Mamma hit harder and harder as grandma continued to tell her to stop. In time I realized that I no longer felt any pain even though I could tell I was being hit harder, but even more, I felt wonderful and I no longer feared anyone or anything and I remember thinking, is this what it feels like to die. Then granddaddy came in with a shotgun and told her to stop. This time she listened. She may be stuborn, but she is not stupid although that is one of her names for me. She put me down and went over to him. He told her that he was going to kill her. I saw his eyes, they were like hers, that thing was there and I new mamma was was going to die if I didn't get over there, but I was so dizzy and my legs did not want to work. I stood up and fell down several times using the furniture and the wall to get to granddaddy. I grabbed him around the leg with my arms and legs and begged him in tears,"Please don't kill my mommy, please don't kill my mommy". Someone said,"Look, your grandson is begging you not to kill his mother. With that granddaddy came back, someone took the gun, granddaddy turned and left. Sure didn't slow down the whippings any, but then that how things go.
A somewhat condensed version, but sufficient to cause my stomach to tighten and gurgle, but I made it through. Note that the above contains other's memmories as well as my own. For example, I do not remember anyone else speaking when I was hanging on to my grandfather's leg as I was a little bussy at the time.
I believe T.J. had it ruffer than me as far as mothers are concerned, but still too close for comfort.
I have been reading for some time on MS, seeing trigger warnings and not having any problems. Really thinking I was a pretty tough cooky. Then I read TJ Jeff's story. Breezed right by the trigger warnings and read on. What he was writing was hitting wayyyyy to close to home. I suddenly realized that I was getting knots in my stomach. I was also beginning to feel nauseous.
I began to tremble and I could feel tears welling up. I will never take trigger warnings lightly again! I am going to write some things down below because I do not like being whipped. Pun intended.
*****TRIGGER WARNING***** TRIGGER WARNING*********
I can still see my mother's eyes so angry. I saw her leave and that thing take her place and I just hoped I was still here when it was over.
The name calling, the beatings for the least little reason, to help with my education and for what my little brother had done. There is also one time when I definitely thought I was dieing. I had been near death on several occasions before, but I had been terrified and gone unconcious due to lack of oxygen. This time I was about 4 and my mother decided I needed to be whipped, her mother decided I had had enought. Someone dares tell my mother what to do, I think not. I knew I was in trouble the second I heard grandma speak. Mamma hit harder and harder as grandma continued to tell her to stop. In time I realized that I no longer felt any pain even though I could tell I was being hit harder, but even more, I felt wonderful and I no longer feared anyone or anything and I remember thinking, is this what it feels like to die. Then granddaddy came in with a shotgun and told her to stop. This time she listened. She may be stuborn, but she is not stupid although that is one of her names for me. She put me down and went over to him. He told her that he was going to kill her. I saw his eyes, they were like hers, that thing was there and I new mamma was was going to die if I didn't get over there, but I was so dizzy and my legs did not want to work. I stood up and fell down several times using the furniture and the wall to get to granddaddy. I grabbed him around the leg with my arms and legs and begged him in tears,"Please don't kill my mommy, please don't kill my mommy". Someone said,"Look, your grandson is begging you not to kill his mother. With that granddaddy came back, someone took the gun, granddaddy turned and left. Sure didn't slow down the whippings any, but then that how things go.
A somewhat condensed version, but sufficient to cause my stomach to tighten and gurgle, but I made it through. Note that the above contains other's memmories as well as my own. For example, I do not remember anyone else speaking when I was hanging on to my grandfather's leg as I was a little bussy at the time.
I believe T.J. had it ruffer than me as far as mothers are concerned, but still too close for comfort.
