.

Thank you so much for sharing that. I can see now why it's been so painful for you to open up. As hard as it obviously is for you--please keep sharing. I am just so blown away by all that.

And I can relate a little bit to your pain. I know I've told this story before but I think I did it in the "gay survivors" forum so it would probably be all new to you.

But when I was 17, some family members were introduced to a married man in his 40's, who operated a community theatre group in my hometown. Well, right away my relatives started bragging about what a wonderful actor I was. I wasn't THAT wonderful but I had done a few plays in high school. And back then, that was my one ambition in life: to be an actor!

Well, that sleazy child molester put an end to that dream with his sordid casting couch "seduction." Actually, seduction is too kind a word for sexual abuse! He tried to get me drunk, as he pulled out the porno and pulled out his thing. All the while talking about what a talented young fellow I was!

And because this happened at his friend's apartment, and because the friend was roaming around doing God knows what, to this day I wonder if any of it ended up on celluloid. Seriously, I would not be at all surprised but just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.

I was so naive back then it's scary. But that's what that predator counted on. And it wasn't my fault. Nor was it yours.

By the way, the final insult was that I didn't get the part that I was supposedly just perfect for. Instead, I got to be script boy!

Thanks again for sharing your story. And remember: you are NOT to blame!

Take care,

Jasper

 

[ForeverFighting]

Thank you, SK, for sharing your story. I'm sorry he took advantage of you. And no wonder your trust is low. Mine would be, too. But you trusted enough to share what was done to you. That's the first step in healing. By sharing how angry you are at that "agent" and how it changed your life for the worse you can get your feelings out in the open. That perp deserves your anger.

Hang in there, SK. We're with you.

 

Hello Zach:

I just wanted to say again how proud I am of you for opening up like this. I hope all the guys here get a chance to read this post. It may seem a little unusual at first but read the whole thing. And then you'll see how much Zach is finally starting to open up.

Good work, Zach!

Take care,

Jasper

 

[VN]

I will speak to you. I have much regret that you have such lies given you, and that your image and body were used so poorly, if it is as my translater say, if it is understood rightly.

I have history, as I am 15 years age, that I allow pictures be taken of me without clothes on. I was perhaps older looking, no one ever suggest I am younger then correct age to do such. But of course, persons as that, they will not care of your age. Also, I engaged in several 'films', around that same time, at same age. It was not lied to me. I knew they were pornographic. Again, I do not know that person know my age, but when I say I am 19, he do not question it. It was something I done then, for the money, as I was living 'on street'. The money I get for each of those 'films', at that time, it would amount maybe to $130 American. It was incredible for me at that time, because I have somewhere to live and can eat and do school for several months. But now, it is 11 years later, I am adult, and I fear that those films, those photos, they will be seen now. And my motivations then for doing them, they will not be known or understood.

I did not mean so much to speak so much of myself. I just wish you to know you are not alone in being used in such the way. I am most sorry for your stress and for your pain.

VN