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OnceInnocent

Registrant
Sounds like she’s an asshat. And you can tell her I said so.
I’m sorry. Getting a good T sounds nearly impossible for most of us.
Ur doing so well at this point basically I’m your own already.
 
Apparently I owe $1,000+ to her for claims she only now processed from months ago.
I’m really sorry your dealing with this kind of unprofessional shit. She should know better and to be late all the time is insult to injury with a trauma survivor. We already think we can be craped on.
If this was me.
First I would make sure she gives you a complete invoice for all services rendered and how much is owed. Then I would send a letter back deducting the 10 minutes per session. Then work out a plan to pay this out over as much time I could squeeze. Then move on to a therapist with good ratings and credentials. just my thoughts.
 
I'm sorry this idiot is allowed to practice therapy and that you were unlucky enough to have her practice it on you.

I went through six therapists before I found a good one ... And then she left town. But once I had experienced therapy that worked for me, it was pretty easy to find another good therapist. It sucks that finding one is so difficult.
 

AlexBoyd

Registrant
Sounds like it is time for a different therapist.
 

Ceremony

Moderator
((((Zac))))

Your anger is justified, she's best left in your wake, let that go for a new search.

I'm sorry there's a loss connection that she played a part in, the feelings you share here make a lot of sense.

Does your network put biographies online so you could read their credentials and focus of therapy?
 

Piepel

Registrant
I am very sorry to hear of your frustrating experience in therapy.

There is a huge difference between being credentialed and being competent.

I have never had a therapist though not for not trying. Finding a therapist trained in male survivors of sexual abuse is difficult. I have found that generally speaking females (even professionals) do not understand male sexuality. This specialized therapy, geared toward adult male survivors of child sexual abuse, is often expensive and most insurances don't cover these specialists. I am told that these specialized therapists also find that male clients do not continue in therapy for long especially when involved in group therapy. So, in short, we are not a group worth investing in. That is my general understanding.
 
I have found that generally speaking females (even professionals) do not understand male sexuality. This specialized therapy, geared toward adult male survivors of child sexual abuse, is often expensive and most insurances don't cover these specialists. I am told that these specialized therapists also find that male clients do not continue in therapy for long especially when involved in group therapy.
This has not been my understanding. It may be different in different parts of the country, or indeed in different countries, but in my area, trauma therapists should be able to treat anyone with trauma. It is true that men's sexual trauma requires somewhat different approaches than women's sexual trauma, but any trauma therapist with reasonable experience should be able to understand and make allowances for that.

Likewise, I've heard that although many, many fewer men come to therapy for trauma issues, they can be some of the most dedicated and hard-working clients therapists encounter. Many men prefer group therapy to individual therapy, but others prefer individual therapy.

Insurance is a problem for everyone, not just men.

I'm not trying to put you down, @Piepel. My experience is just different and much more positive than yours.
 

Piepel

Registrant
It took me well over a year to find her. I think it is crazy that if I never transitioned I would have access to endless resources but since I did I now have basically nothing. I have a lot of thoughts on the differences in resources for men and women but I'll save that for a different post. Point is; I wish more than anything there were better resources for men like us.
Yes, I agree totally. There is not much out there for the average Joe.

I formed a support group at a community center two years ago. It was part of a national program called the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse - NAASCA. The meetings follow a heavily scripted format and the guidelines are very strict. The problem was that the shares were often triggering. Even though strong negative emotions like anger and rage were not allowed to be expressed for the safety of the individual group members, nonetheless, we were still overcome by the traumatic recollections of others. The guidelines allow for sharing of feelings at every turn, but talking didn't calm the emotional intensity. My co-facilitator experienced a flashback right at the beginning of a meeting which emotionally exhausted me for weeks. Lastly we had the problem of a strong, difficult personality which caused interpersonal conflicts outside of the group. I ended the program a couple months after I started it. The entire experience left me wondering if the secular approach is at all helpful. Secular therapy models have struck me as too superficial. This is why I believe there has been a move away from traditional therapy models to chemical therapy - using drugs to alter negative moods. As a Christian, I have often had powerful positive experiences with healing services or laying on of hands. Unfortunately, many Christian communities are moving away from this ministry as well.
 

Piepel

Registrant
This has not been my understanding. It may be different in different parts of the country, or indeed in different countries, but in my area, trauma therapists should be able to treat anyone with trauma. It is true that men's sexual trauma requires somewhat different approaches than women's sexual trauma, but any trauma therapist with reasonable experience should be able to understand and make allowances for that.

Likewise, I've heard that although many, many fewer men come to therapy for trauma issues, they can be some of the most dedicated and hard-working clients therapists encounter. Many men prefer group therapy to individual therapy, but others prefer individual therapy.

Insurance is a problem for everyone, not just men.

I'm not trying to put you down, @Piepel. My experience is just different and much more positive than yours.
Hello Strangeways, just wanted to let you know that I read your post and that I am glad that you have had a positive experience in therapy.
 
@Piepel i share your thoughts. i appreciate that there are different ways of solving a problem. having said that, i can’t imagine tacking this outside of my faith. (this from a guy who can’t even pray right now because i am struggling with God about my CSA). the two most pivotal experiences of my life have happened during two healing prayer sessions decades apart.

i have much respect for anyone on a healing journey regardless of their higher power. i just know that Jesus has been critical for mine.
 

Piepel

Registrant
@Piepel i share your thoughts. i appreciate that there are different ways of solving a problem. having said that, i can’t imagine tacking this outside of my faith. (this from a guy who can’t even pray right now because i am struggling with God about my CSA). the two most pivotal experiences of my life have happened during two healing prayer sessions decades apart.

i have much respect for anyone on a healing journey regardless of their higher power. i just know that Jesus has been critical for mine.
Right on Greg123.
I found a church which after services, has two stations for healing prayer. Yesterday I got the idea to go to them both as some people are more connected with their prayers than others. I don't tell them anything specific. I ask prayers for healing of severe childhood trauma. That's it. I am so grateful that I found this church. (I am new to this city.) Like I said, some people do better than others, but I know that God can work through any instrument.
@Piepel and @Greg123 ,
I've long had a rocky relationship with God and religion in general. But when I was with my last boyfriend he took me to a church and helped me find my way back to God. My relationship with the big guy isn't exactly where I would like it to be but it has been very beneficial for my PTSD. I've found that this song speaks to what I need as a survivor.

On the subject of medication, I've tried just about every anti-depressant available since I was 14. They don't work for me. I tried anti-anxieties too with no results. Places like here and a solid support system are the most effective things.
I too find this site very helpful, but this is my second go round with malesurvivor. The first time I was overwhelmed with rage and resentment as the flashbacks were a new experience for me. It has been a few years now and I feel a little more steady. Though I must admit I haven't had a flashback in two years, thank God.

I am always cautious when I hear of psych medications. I have a neighbor in my building who just told me that the psych meds he has been on for I don't know how many years may have done severe damage to his liver. He said he has to be put on a liver transplant registry. What?! I'd rather deal with my emotions in a church in prayer to God. It's free and I get to keep my liver.
 
I'd rather deal with my emotions in a church in prayer to God. It's free and I get to keep my liver.
And yet those medications can be extremely helpful to some, lifesaving even, just as praying to God would be entirely unhelpful and destructive to others.

There's no one way to heal.
 

Tyler845

Registrant
I'm gonna second everything i read about the therapist being inept. Trust issues aside, i would go so far as to say she's funneling money out of you. Validate yourself, stand up for yourself, do not put up with sub par "help". Certainly help you're paying for. I hope you find yourself well today.
 
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