My dear brother, you're kindness and introspection need to be held close and gently. Be that gentle with yourself, and let this part that heart heavy have a little break. I have made my life to exemplify the goodness in the life of whom we follow and whose resurrection holds promise. I've compartmentalized the old, and face life through the most supportive in the new. There are ways of looking to the word which filter through other's mindset, and they can make a fog which we're unable to see ourselves.
Kindness to yourself first, let that build some, while the other rests, and talk further about one part at a time. I hope this seems satisfactory and not pushy. What goal you can do for one part, and doing some work toward that one, can ease your conflicting parts. It can give you time to have some peace from stress. Be well brother.