im so sorry that you face reminders of the abuse multiple times a day.My T wants me to do EMDR while listening to music that triggers me. There are very specific bands/song I will never listen to because they were playing while it was happening to me. I have a lot of fear about doing this, especially since we do skype session now and my computer is set up in a room I was abused in. There aren't other rooms to use unfortunately.
A triggering song came on the other day and it really set off all the alarms in my head and I was very out of it for awhile. I recognize that doing this work is good for me but it still scares me shitless.
To end on a good note, turns out my insurance covers my therapy now! So I pay way less than before and the insurance will be reimbursing me for all the extra money I spent.