Like the three post writers I read as I decided to join this community, I wanted to say "hello," "thanks for accepting me," and I'm "not sure I belong here." My name is Jeremy and I'm confused. I've been working with a trauma therapist for about a year and have been in therapy for 28 of my 59 years. I was kidnapped twice when I was a kid and, shockingly in hindsight, none of the string of doctors and therapists I've worked with (until the trauma specialist) "did much" (at all) with the kidnappings. My dad took me first, then my mom took me back (it was the first time I saw a gun) -- and, as I say, in hindsight, it was as if 27 years of specialists and doctors saw these events as unfortunate but no big deal. In walking toward everything that happened to me growing up (because it was affecting my relationships and I wanted to be a "better example" for my kids and grand kids), I realized that 2 or 3 years after the kidnappings my dad sexually violated me. I was 6, maybe 7. And I always thought I'd done something wrong, that I was a terrible, perverted person, and that I had to rise above all this and be the World's Best Person for everyone I met -- lest I be abandoned, with the World finding out just how terrible I was... My memories are blurry, terrifying, embarrassing, and humiliating. It took me 53 years to finally tell the trauma therapist about things. Then I told my husband of 20 years (who's a psychologist) and a few very close people. I'm still learning what's what...and how to go forward in this new world that I find myself in. I could go on and on. But I'll just say: Hello, thanks for accepting me; I'm not sure I belong here. Though, the few posts I read before joining told me, clearly: Yes, I belong here. Some days are scary. Others are mostly confusing. This is the last community I thought I'd ever be a part of...yet, here I am.