Hi Stephan,
Of course you're feeling scared, and in a round about way this is meant to console you, and in that feeling scared you are perfectly normal. You let the genie out of the bottle and there is no putting him back in - now you have to deal - that's scary! But you're not alone in this fight, Stephan, you have us to lean on and share with and you have a therapist that you trust - you'll get through this.
I've been there and done that and, no, I didn't like any better than you do right now. And I didn't find it easy either. What I did find, however, is that it is do-able. One small step at a time as I felt able to take them.
I think that you need to give yourself more credit than you are. You are finally strong enough to reveal publicly the things that you did. It only feels scray right now because it is so new and you need to give yourself time acclime to the idea. Still and all, you've broken a barrier and that, my friend is progress in recovery!!!