3 weeks sober...

3 weeks sober...
M

mark250676

Registrant
Not a lot I know but after many years drunk it seem's strange more than anything else.

My consultant has advised I never drink again. This seem's the hardest thing to grasp for me. It seem's to say I'm weak and can't have alcohol in my life. I know I need to take it one day at a time but part of me can't settle with the thought of never drinking again.
 
If you keep it in the day you can.
When I left the rehab I remember walking up to the house on a nice April day and the thought came to: The rest of my life? Beyond comprehension and I paid the price. Over and Over. So I thought, 'what have I got to lose?'
I tried.I'm sober today, still visiting from Uranus,and tomorrow is another day.

Froggy 12
froggy12
 
best thing i did quit drinking 4 years sober now....there was a time i said to myself i would never quit...why.....yet i hit bottom real bad..everythinmg was comming in real quick....so i quit...first 2 years was hell now thgings are mellowing out...so much to learn..that i never did..being drunk all of the time...i get mad at myself for wasting the major part of my life..yet grateful for finally waking up....so now i am going to try and make the best out of what time i have left steve
 
best thing i did quit drinking 4 years sober now....there was a time i said to myself i would never quit...why.....yet i hit bottom real bad..everythinmg was comming in real quick....so i quit...first 2 years was hell now thgings are mellowing out...so much to learn..that i never did..being drunk all of the time...i get mad at myself for wasting the major part of my life..yet grateful for finally waking up....so now i am going to try and make the best out of what time i have left steve
 
Congrats!!!! You're not weak, you strong enough to have a sober life. Day at a time Mark. I'm glad for you.

Halibut
 
Mark, its not easy, but at least you have made the step to recovering your life.

Congrats,

ste
 
Great job! The early times are indeed the hardest but don't allow yourself to become complacient eithter. I woudl have to think about it but off the top of my head I think it's been seven years for me.

The problem I had was I could say no to alcohol nine times out of ten but that tenth time... I wouldn't be able to stop. Friends would tell me I didn't have a problem and that was easy for me to believe but I know I'm better off without it.

Good work man.
 
Prog tonite BBC2 rain in my heart, a story of alcoholics and just how bad it can get.

Only available in UK,

ste
 
Ste
I watched that last night, and it was one of the most depressing things I've ever seen.
But it was also a superb documentary that needed to be seen by everyone.

I know a few alcoholics, I went to my friends funeral last year even though the last time I saw him alive he ignored me. He died painfully and a very lonely man, about 5 or 6 people were at the funeral.

My dad's alcoholic, but he's 87 and doing remarkably well by keeping the drinking under some control. Giving up is pointless, so together we keep him topped up but not falling down drunk.

I also have a nephew in AA, and a few friends who are either sober or struggling. One good friend is about to lose his job because he's been caught drink driving again.
It's a teribble thing for everyone concerned, the fallout from one alcoholic spreads far and wide.

Possibly it's the easiest addiction to fall into?
Over here we can buy drink so easily and cheaply, and it's also socially acceptable, and easy to hide.

My dad's been drinking secretly for over 30 years, possibly since before I left home to get married 33 years ago. But we've only just discovered the severity of his problem in the last year.

Like so many people who have gone before me I've tried everything from losing my temper, searching the house and pouring his booze down the toilet to reasoning with him.
I took his car away so he wouldn't drive drunk AND get more booze, but one night I went over to see him and found him walking down the street in the rain at 8-00pm. This was unusual because his legs and knees are knackered, some days he can barely get out of his chair to go to the bathroom.
But he'd down town to the supermarket, about a mile each way, and was striding home with his pockets bulging from beer cans!

Then, I understood. And it had taken me a long time to get to that point.
I had refused to accept the severity of his problem, or the actual cruelty of my attempts to stop his drinking.
I've not returned the car, there were other reasons for that although the possibilty of drink driving was the main one, but I now take him to the supermarket and we buy 'just enough'.

It's hard for the alcoholic, and for all of us around them as well.

Dave
 
Tough day today. Have started to play mind games with myself.

"What will happen if I have a drink. I mean come on I'm not going to turn into a werewolf or something!"

"So your not drinking now but surely I'm not going to NEVER drink again. Why not get in first and just try a drink"

Over and over.

Was invited to a friends house with my kids to watch the football. Decided to stay at home as it's a place I would have got totally out of it a couple of months ago. Sitting at home alone drinking diet bloody lemonade now!

One month soon.
 
Mark

A second, a minute and hour at a time if need be, stinking thinking leads to drinking .... its the old denial factor at work .... it will pass I promise ..... give yourself a pat on the back for getting through the weekend.

Take it easy

Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
 
Mark,
I'm in the program. I don't give a rat's ass who knows (anonomity). I was always hospitalized because I was so drunk and a danger to myself. After that I had no problem, until I had the 1st drink and then it was all downhill on a skate board. Depression and isolation were the usual culprets, paranoid about rejection from others (trust issues you say?)and fear. With alcohol I was numb, no feelings, drowning in despair. I have been sober this time almost 3 years and many times the rejection fear returns and start to isolate again. I want to tell those I am close to how I feel but they shut me out. And if I keep sitting in my hole I will drown and I think that might not be such a bad idea. I have no joy today.

froggy12
 
Froggy,
I share so many of the feelings you describe. Kirk cheered me up by saying I should pat myself on the back and you've both provided me with inspiration to get to 3 years and beyond.

Mark
 
"As The Frog Turns" - a maudlin sopa opera. I noted that I am not taking my own advice from above 'keep it in the day' because the cynic self seems to rule. The moon must be in hysterectomy again, or in mars, plato or my favorite: Uranus. Being alone is a killer and to reach out and get no response, deadly. As if I called the "Samaritan Hot Line" and was put on hold. Again. I won't drink, but the emptyness is draining my hope and resistance and that is cause for concern. I have not eaten, taken any of my meds (I thought I failed that course in 'Drama Queen 1A?")so I'll have more coffee, go for a ride and see what happens.

froggy12
 
Mark-- those thoughts are the temptation to dring kicking in. No, you're not going to turn into a werewolf, because Nobody turns into a werewolf. what will happen is you'll lose all of the hard work and effort of the past few weeks and your life will grow more unmanagable. Right now it's hard to manage b/c sobriety is new-- but you'll get there.

Fight the good fight!

Halibut
 
5 weeks plus now. Or 700 units that haven't gone into my body and 350 that's still in my bank account!

I heard a quote that hit a button for me about giving up smoking

"I haven't given up anything, I've taken up not smoking"

Helps for some reason. Can't sleep very well though. Think I've lost the ability to drop off to sleep unless I'm 100% exhausted or drunk.
 
Congratulations Mark!!! your body is adjusting to a new life, the hard time trying to sleep will pass. I'm glad for you. What a great present to give yourself. Keep up the good work....one day at a time.

Halibut
 
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