1st Anniversary of trial starting

1st Anniversary of trial starting
R

RICK57

Registrant
Sorry - not been here for a few weeks, had a very bad chest infection which has only just cleared up.

Been feeling weird for the last few hours & couldn't understand why! Hadn't seen or heard anything triggering. Decided to go for a lie down, because I didn't feel like doing anything & just wanted to get to sleep, to loose the horrible negative electricity feeling.

Just as I was starting to drift off, it came to me that tomorrow is the first anniversary of the first day in court last year. I lost the horrible tense feeling I had almost straight away, now I just feel really emotional. I don't quite understand why it should hit me like this, just because it's the anniversary. Maybe it's just a form of release, because with hindsight, I realise what a major step forward that day was!

Crazy thing is I've now volunteered to go through the same thing again with a friend! I mentioned a few weeks ago, that a friend was in the early stages of proceedings that may lead to their step father appearing in court. We've had several discussions since then, where I've been supportive, not trying to sway my friends decision either way.

Last week I got a call to go to my friends house on Monday, as the police would be paying a further visit. Whilst I was there, I told the police many of the things that could have been handled better in my case. My friend has a medical condition that requires minimum levels of unwarranted stress. My friend decided to make a statement to the police in my presence. So I got to hear first hand what another one of those perverts had done. My friend felt that it was easier to have someone there that knew the pitfalls. The police have guaranteed that they will not make the same failings for my friend that they did with me. I told them that I would be on their case if they did (and meant it). They cannot guarantee what will happen in court, but they will ensure that my friend is informed of all developments, even if there are no developments, they have promised to communicate regularly.

I feel more relaxed just writing this down!

Thanks for reading.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
You've turned something very bad into a force for good. I'm glad your country doesn't have a statute of limitations.
 
Wow Rik, I don't know if I could have sat through a statement. You must really love your friend. They are very lucky to have you.
 
Rick,

Keep up the good work. You friend is lucky to have you!

Recovery is Possible!

Brian
 
Rik,

You're using the unfortunate circumstances of your own experience and turning it into something positive in helping others. What a gift to those you care about.

Lots of love,

John
 
Thanks for all of you supportive comments.

I wasn't looking to go through something like this again so soon, but once I knew what the situation was, I couldn't walk away. I had to say well me too & I can help you with this. It was a shock to both of us that we had 'endured' similar experiences.

I also feel that this is one positive that I can take from being abused, that I am in a position to support someone else. If I hadn't been there, I wouldn't have known how to deal with it. I've had several conversations with my friend since the statement was made, and it can be tiring.

One thing that we both actually find amusing, is the way I set out guidelines for the police in how they should deal with my friend. My friend said it was like I interviewed the Detective to identify if they were suited to the role of investigator in this instance. When I spoke to the police in Oct 2004 (about my own case), it took some effort to do so, now I'm a bleeding dictator - must have got some confidence from somewhere. Apparently the Detective was quite impressed!

Something else I've realised, is that I must at times I must have driven my friends up the wall over the last few years (not that I'm being driven up the wall at the moment, but I see how easily it could upset people that cannot understand unless they've been there).

Sitting through the statement was also very strange - it was like sitting through a repeat of when I made my own statement. The reactions of my friend to some of the scenarios and the impact that it has had over the years were so similar, even though the the way that we were abused was so different.

Thanks again ...Rik
 
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