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[Bill_1965]

Even writing the letter and NOT mailing it is a healing excersize.

Read Ken Singer's article Disclosure and Confrontation: Considerations for Survivors . It'll provide you will a lot of information.

 

Hello SK and Bill:

This is totally inappropriate. And I shall accept 30 lashes with a wet noodle. But for years, I've been trying to understand my abusive brother, forgive him, etc. Now it's important for my healing to just get good and mad. And since he is dead, here is my letter--short and sweet.

Dear Satan:

Is it hot enough down there for you?

Jasper

 

[RICK57]

I wrote a 15 page statement of complaint about my abuser with the support of a Police witness. My abuser has now read it & will be hearing more of it in Court.

Not quite the same as writing a letter and posting it, but he got the message - I mean business!

Not sure what the legal implications are of sending a letter direct to an abuser?

Best wishes ...Rik

 

[cat4527]

Yeah, a letter bomb.
rik

 

[BT]

letters are great... I tried to write one so many times over so many years, but never got it the way I wanted it...

And I remember still a wonderful moment when I was in the middle of another letter and I stopped, sighed, and said to myself...

These guys are not worth any more of my time..
To hell with em...

I never wrote anymore letters, but they served their purpose...they got me to the point of taking back control of my life.

So write away... You will know if you ever need to mail something...sometimes guys need to...sometimes not...

All my best,
Brent.

 

[Leosha]

SoccerKid,

I wrote a letter to my abuser. Posted it here shortly after joining. Mailed it to him several days after that. It was not short and sweet like Jasper's. I think I still have a copy of it on my other computer.

It was a powerful thing, for me. Because it was the first step of confrontation. Several weeks after the letter, he and I, we had occasion to be in the same place at the same time. And for the first time in years, upon seeing him, I did not unthinkingly take a step back. I kept moving forward. That was quite powerful as well.

As Bill said, even writing it out and NOT sending it can be powerful and healing. As for the other boy as well, that one I am not so sure of. It is tricky issue, whether to speak or not speak. Perhaps he is in denial, or has blocked out what happened. But perhaps he is scared, and hoping someone will help him to open up. It is a very hard thing to know how to act on. I will leave it to brighter minds then mine to give advice on that one!

Good luck.

Leosha