11:00am, 11th August 2006 - at last!

11:00am, 11th August 2006 - at last!
R

RICK57

Registrant
Just confronted the perv face to face.

Went to local store to buy a ticket for Euro Millions Lottery Draw!

I got to the door as the perv was just walking out of it!

He said "hello son".

I just blanked him and went in the store. I thought god, that was the opportunity I was waiting for, but he had caught me off guard. I bought my ticket.

I knew he would have headed for the betting shop over the road! I left the store and looked over the road. He was just leaving the betting shop.

I locked my car and crossed the road towards him.

The following covnversation ensued: M = me, P = Perv.

M - I'd just like to correct something, I am not your son , and don't even speak to me.

P - I don't even recognise you!

M - I'm one of the ones that went against you in court!

P - Oh right - I'm sorry about that!

M - I want to correct something else. In court, you were told that you were an elderly gentleman! (I forgot to mention indiscretions). You are not, as far as I am concerned you are a grooming abusive paedophile.

P - OK.

M - So don't even speak to me ever again.

P = Ok

M - Don't ever speak to me and we'll leave it at that!
___________________________________________

When I first crossed the road, he maintained eye contact. As the conversation developed, he kept trying to walk away and couldn't look at me.

When I got back into my car I was shaking like a twig in a storm. I'm really glad that I confronted him. The judiciary couldn't tell him what he was in court, so I've done it myself!

At no point did I touch him. I just maintained my best assertive, disgusted voice.

I saw the fear in his face as he walked away!

I have needed to do this for so long! Now this has to sink in, but I will walk tall from this day onwards.

Now I'm emotional!

He'll probably complain to the police, but so what! I can handle anything they have to say.

I'll direct them towards the 40 year old alcoholic that is so messed up that he lives in an old persons bungalow. I'll direct them to the 40 year old dope heads house, that never leaves his home except to score. I'll ask the police to tell them that James Fowler is complaining that I confronted him and called him a grooming, abusive paedophile. Maybe it will bring a little light back into their eyes.

*PS - that was one of the shortest conversations I've ever had in my life, but probably one of the most important.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Please note there is an obvious time zone difference - my post shows as 10:47am. It is 11:47am here!
 
whew. good for you man! I'm at the brink of filing against the perp. would love to have an oppurtunity to say something so concise to him.
well done,

Alex
 
Rik,

he wont tell the cops, you have a right to tell him, and after him calling you 'son', he was patronizing you.

You should have pointed out to the perp, all the damage he has done.

Phew,,,

ste
 
WOW! I wish I was that brave. Unfortunately the person who abused me is in my family and no one knows. He is rarely at any of the family get togethers because he is my first cousin. I only see him a couple times a year. When I do see him he rarely talks to me or even makes eye-contact. Sometimes I wonder if he remembers what he did because he is mildly mentally handicaped. I often think about confronting him, but I don't even know what I would say. He caused me so much pain, my life could have been so much better.

I envy you. You are courageous.
 
Well done Rik. I'm glad you were able to recover from the initial shock quickly enough to tell him what you wanted to. I know how empowering that can be. He now knows where you stand with this.

Sit back...let it sink in...and be proud of yourself. You deserve it.
 
Congratulations Rick. You confronted your perp on behalf of many, like me, for whom that is no longer possible.

Thank you!

Kenn
 
Rik,

Ballsy convo! And very empowering I think. Congratulations! I don't know how he can complain, since he is, after all, a convicted pedophile. I bet he is wondering if you will confront him on other future occasions.

Much love,
Larry
 
Rik,

Glad you got the chance to do that. I've never had the opportunity and never will. My T suggested that I do so, but both of them are dead I hear.

Had to feel good tho, once your adrenalin settled down! Good on you!

Lots of love,

John
 
Thanks everyone for your responses.

Melliferal - thanks for that link..doesn't really sound like me, but thanks for the sentiment! It's very much appreciated!

The best thing is, today is like any other typical Saturday where I know my friends are at work, so there is no social activity.

The difference is that I'm not wondering why no one has called (they are at work). I haven't gone out and bought things I don't need just to feel good. I don't feel like I must do something, just so I can say I did something.

Most of all, I don't feel the intense feeling of being lost, the feeling that something needs putting right! I just feel quite relaxed... I don't feel intense hurt! I don't have loads of negative electricity running around my body!

Thanks to you all for that - the people here gave me blood in my veins again! It is because of you (and good friends, particularly T) that I made it to today.

Thanks everyone!! Big style!!

Rik.. and here's some more love (my difficult word).
 
Nice one Rik

Isnt it strange how they get that fearful look in their eyes, exactly the same happened when I confronted King, only one difference he has taken out an injunction so that other survivors of his perverted lust cannot do the same. If that is not the action of a coward I dont know what is and lets admit it .... they are ALL cowards. Injunction or not I would do it all again as it was the most empowering experience I have ever encountered.

"When I got back into my car I was shaking like a twig in a storm".

Sure is the biggest adrenaline rush I have ever experienced I know that for sure. I was buzzing for days afterwards and my wife said I had changed from that moment .... I had become softer in voice for some reason!!!!

Once again well done.

Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
 
Kirk,

What a great testament to another empowering confrontation experience! I can just imagine the nature of the change your wife noticed. Good for you.

I was stunned to read that King was able to get an injunction. Does it specify that survivors may not approach him or speak to him if they see him, or just that he cannot be victimized by deliberate campaigns of harassment?

Much love,
Larry
 
Larry

I suspect he does not wish to be victimized by further confrontations .... what a warped world we live in.

Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
 
10 days later, and I don't quite know where I am now from a personal perspective! I know I am thinking about that ******* so much less.

It used to be all day, and every day.....now it's just when I have nothing better to do!

Maybe I should just confront him one more time, and ask that 1 question we all want the answer to!

Why me?

I don't think he will know the answer!

That's what I need now! To ask the question...don't think the answer will mean much!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Personally, I don't give a rat's ass why Dan decided to use me for his wants. I don't see where that would help me in any way but I do see how that could bring up the old guilt for the abuse. The way I see it, he picked me because...

1)I was available to him as a kid who didn't know any better.
2)He knew, or at least hoped, I would not tell anyone.
3)He was a sick SOB.

Asking that question puts the blame back on the victim. "Why me?" can easily lead to "What could I have done differently?" and that's not a healthy road for us to take.
 
Patrick - I 've answered the same question to myself long ago. I was an opportunity - he was an opportunist!

Now I've seen him try to get away from me, I want to ask that question! I know he will not be able to answer! I want to see the ******* squirm one more time! I asked the question ...'why me' of myself for many years! Now I intend to ask it of him.

During my time here, I have gone from being a total wreck that was seconds away from suicide, to someone that picked up the sword... told the police.. made a major statement of complaint, waited 17 months to go to court and achieve a positive result. Everything I do now is from a position of strength!

I intend to ask that final question... because when he fails to answer, I will know that I have taken the healthiest road that I could ever have taken! The power is 90% back with me now, I look forward to 100%!

Please read some of my old posts - there are many and they are varied!

There is nothing I could have done differently then! Confronting him now though, tells him where the power really is!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Youre righteverything you do now regarding him is from a position of strength. When you ran into him again you were able to let him know that you werent his anymore.that he has no power over you anymore. That is truly a wonderful thing and a very emotionally enriching experience.

I dont understand the Why me? question but I do understand the wanting to take back 100% of your power. Ive been able to confront both of the people who abused me. One was by chance as yours was and the other was planned by me. Both confrontations went well and left me knowing that I was in control of our relationship from that point on. These 2 people know exactly how I feel about the abuse and they know that I wont be quiet for them any longer. They know they have zero power over me now.

It sounds like you have unfinished business with the perv and if it takes another confrontation for you to have 100% of your power then that is what it takes. Im not questioning your actions or motives at all. Only you know whats best for you. I simply dont understand the Why me?. Of course he wont be able to give a justified answer there isnt one. But isnt asking that the equivalent to saying to him theres more you want from him? What is there to want from him?
 
Patrick - I know it may seem a little crazy to ask a question that I don't really expect an answer to.

When I confronted him, I saw the way he squirmed and tried to get away. He was terrified and didn't know what to do. Confronting him this one more time, will let him know that he may be confronted at any time by any of the survivors of his crimes (he knows as well as I do that there are many). It means that he can walk around with all of the worry in his head, that I and others carried around for so long.

Some may call that an act of revenge... well I did serve it cold last time I met him. This time it might just send his mind into the freezer!

By the way - there have been zero visits from the police, so even if he told them, they don't care!

Confronting him directly, was so much more empowering than the farcical justice served up by the judiciary.

I can't believe how much time I wasted thinking about that insignificant pervert. He's out of action now, and that is really what is important!

Best wishes (thanks for your comments)...Rik
 
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