“You have to do what needs to be done.”

“You have to do what needs to be done.”

Jack1

Registrant
It was really hot standing on the porch. It was not only scorching hot, it was very humid. I watched as my mother drove away, hoping that someone was home. It would not be a pleasant experience if I ended up standing in the heat for very long. I rang the doorbell again.

Finally the door opened and a tall man told me in a stern tone to come inside. I knew who he was and had seen him before. This was the first time I had been this close to him. I stepped inside past the man and stood in the entryway.

“We won’t get much done if you just stand there. Come inside for God’s sake. I don’t have all day. You know what your here for.”

“Yes, they told me.” I was only nine but by now I knew what was supposed to happen.

“Well then, get your clothes off and wait here. I’ll be back .”

He quickly walked toward the back of the house and disappeared. I had undressed and was standing there when he came back, dressed in a blue robe.

You do know what you’re supposed to do, right?”

“Yes”

“Your father should end up in staying jail but I’ll make an exception this time. Driving while as drunk as he was is a serious crime. “

“Yes, I want him to stop drinking.”

“We can’t just let people break laws and not have to pay the penalty.”

“I know”

“Well I don't have forever. We need to get this show on the road.”

After he was done he seemed somewhat angry. He swore at me telling me I needed to get dressed and go sit on the steps of the stairway by the entry way. I had no way of knowing what I had done wrong but he was obviously agitated.

“Your fucking drunken father should be thanking me that I was willing to forgo the fine and let him go home to his sorry fucking family”

“Yes sir, I’m sure he is very thankful.”

“I phoned your shitty mother and she will be here shortly. You can sit your ass outside on the porch while you wait for her.”

“Yes sir, thank you for helping our family.”

It was only a few minutes before she drove up. On the way home I began crying but she told me I had nothing to cry about. “You have to do what needs to be done.”

Later, much later they named the city aquatics center and the new courthouse after him. I remember seeing his obituary after he died at 91 year of age. It was full of praise from many important people.

Somehow I wasn’t surprised my name didn’t appear as one of his survivors.
 
I haven't been in the situation to be used as a tool in legal situations... by the time my grandfather (trafficker) had a minor political scandal I was already "retired".
It is a familiar attitude that a family has expectations of the child to "give back", by being exploited for profit. It's made clearer to me through what's shared on the forum that it's not a responsibility for a kid, though I thought of it that way.
I hope you are at least now able to receive the comfort you needed as that crying kid.
 
I read this when you first posted but had not words and really still dont. I am so sorry for what you were put through. I know you hear that a lot but i do mean it. Just dont know what to say sorry
 
@Jack1 Thank you for writing this. I recognize so much of my own experiences in it and it is so much more clear when it is a different boy that this is a horrible situation in which you were powerless, and the weird placement of responsibility and vague mixed messages are making it so much worse. I am so sorry you were in this situation and I am so glad you told about it the way you did. I have this feeling now of my inner boy standing next to the boy in this story in support, looking at the mess and trying to make sense of it together.
 
THANK YOU @Jack1 for this Powerful story, so very well expressed.

Too often it's so easy to toss off an "I Was Abused,." It makes the reality of such a devastating, gut wrenching event seem less horrible and less gruesome than it really is. Putting actual people, real events and surrounding details in a situation, gives the story a life of it's own. And a truly mind numbing story it is. . .
 
the weird placement of responsibility and vague mixed messages are making it so much worse.
It's strange when I think about it but when it was happening I never considered that what they were doing to me was illegal. I did know it was wrong and I did certainly know it was extremely unfair and cruel but the legality of it never seemed to occur to me. I just knew some people had the power to do these things and it seemed that no one questioned that fact. The man had been the mayor and then a judge so he had the power and he used it.
 
It's strange when I think about it but when it was happening I never considered that what they were doing to me was illegal.
Me neither. It was like a separate world where the law did not matter. And it didn't and doesn't. All that matters is who has the power to get away with it. There was no way for us to report them or in any other way make use of the law so what did it matter.
 
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