Puzzled with Significant Other
BasementBoy
Registrant
Hey guys,
I wanted your take on this for men who have gone through abuse and controlling people. My significant other is around my age - and we live together in a new apartment as we were just unlawfully evicted from our apartment last month.
As you know it's been a trying time. My significant other has been involved in a local church organization which has really helped him in his recovery from substance abuse problems. Ive had to take him in last fall; and have seen his continuous relapses but lately he seems to be doing okay in that regard. What concerns me though; is that the church pays him around $100 a week for services where he is the assistant organist and lately our relationship has been on and off as he struggles with BiPolar Disorder and is very Moody. Sometimes to the degree of not being open to new ideas and constantly criticizing others as if he has an idea - it is very hard to change what is in his head.
But I knew him prior to the mental illness and I have put up with his antics for this long - and have been there for him through his recovery post rehab - and all I want to see is his happiness and to be the strong person he once was prior to his addiction. Part of me wants that as we both struggle with mental illness and health issues and with myself having PTSD - I try to be there for him the best I can.
Anyway, a couple weeks ago we received a care package from his church and unbeknownst to myself - he has computer access to the churches and former pastors Facebook account. Now I personally knew the pastor but am not a member of the church but wanted to take the time to graciously thank them for everything they donated as the new pastor was clearing out the garage of the house owned by the church.
Well, my significant other logged on and saw my message and freaked out. And I'm not talking freak out like oh why didn't you tell me - because I wanted to be included in a thank you as well - I mean:
"I need to prescreen everything you send to the church because it could affect ME"
"I can a salary from the church and I need to know what you are saying at all times because I could lose it!"
"The pastors not going to respond to you. You know that right?".
Overall, I'm left confused and I'm wondering if he is saying things about myself to the church to possibly (I would sincerely hope not) get proceeds to help him be able to afford to not have to work. We both are experiencing income issues - and I am trying to hardest to overcome them to get back on my feet and am trying to hard regardless of my medical issues to provide for myself.
Lately I have been triggered because of my CA memories and trauma - and everything going on with my last position where I still haven't gotten paid - i am doing my best to stay afloat. The shining light through all of this - is that we were illegally evicted from our last apartment and our representation in regards to that situation just recently contacted us with what seems to be good news even though our landlord recinded his offer - we go back to court next week so fingers crossed.
I know I am in relationship that is probably not the healthiest - but deep down to me; he is still the man that got me a stuffed animal for Valentine's day. He is still the man that used to travel for hours to go on small dates. He is still the man that used to hold my hand while we walked down the mall and window shop.
That's maybe why I stay.
Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs
I wanted your take on this for men who have gone through abuse and controlling people. My significant other is around my age - and we live together in a new apartment as we were just unlawfully evicted from our apartment last month.
As you know it's been a trying time. My significant other has been involved in a local church organization which has really helped him in his recovery from substance abuse problems. Ive had to take him in last fall; and have seen his continuous relapses but lately he seems to be doing okay in that regard. What concerns me though; is that the church pays him around $100 a week for services where he is the assistant organist and lately our relationship has been on and off as he struggles with BiPolar Disorder and is very Moody. Sometimes to the degree of not being open to new ideas and constantly criticizing others as if he has an idea - it is very hard to change what is in his head.
But I knew him prior to the mental illness and I have put up with his antics for this long - and have been there for him through his recovery post rehab - and all I want to see is his happiness and to be the strong person he once was prior to his addiction. Part of me wants that as we both struggle with mental illness and health issues and with myself having PTSD - I try to be there for him the best I can.
Anyway, a couple weeks ago we received a care package from his church and unbeknownst to myself - he has computer access to the churches and former pastors Facebook account. Now I personally knew the pastor but am not a member of the church but wanted to take the time to graciously thank them for everything they donated as the new pastor was clearing out the garage of the house owned by the church.
Well, my significant other logged on and saw my message and freaked out. And I'm not talking freak out like oh why didn't you tell me - because I wanted to be included in a thank you as well - I mean:
"I need to prescreen everything you send to the church because it could affect ME"
"I can a salary from the church and I need to know what you are saying at all times because I could lose it!"
"The pastors not going to respond to you. You know that right?".
Overall, I'm left confused and I'm wondering if he is saying things about myself to the church to possibly (I would sincerely hope not) get proceeds to help him be able to afford to not have to work. We both are experiencing income issues - and I am trying to hardest to overcome them to get back on my feet and am trying to hard regardless of my medical issues to provide for myself.
Lately I have been triggered because of my CA memories and trauma - and everything going on with my last position where I still haven't gotten paid - i am doing my best to stay afloat. The shining light through all of this - is that we were illegally evicted from our last apartment and our representation in regards to that situation just recently contacted us with what seems to be good news even though our landlord recinded his offer - we go back to court next week so fingers crossed.
I know I am in relationship that is probably not the healthiest - but deep down to me; he is still the man that got me a stuffed animal for Valentine's day. He is still the man that used to travel for hours to go on small dates. He is still the man that used to hold my hand while we walked down the mall and window shop.
That's maybe why I stay.
Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs