. The Challenge of Recognizing an Abusive Woman (new title)
Clickbait title I know. Let me put up a disclaimer first.
1. I do not believe all, or even most women are evil. I believe that women, just as men, can have a latent tendency towards a lack of empathy, compassion, responsibility and sense of fairness.
2. Moreover, personally, I do not hate the vast majority of women. I would not be where I am today without two wonderfully loving women--my grandmother and her sister, my great-aunt--who were consistently kind and good to me, though they were powerless to prevent my abuse.
Unfortunate that I must make this disclaimer, but for many progressive people there is a horror of anti-feminism that surpasses any compassion for male victims at times.
One of the things I believe many people struggle with is a societal reluctance to come to terms with the fact that women can be evil, and Many times are .
Part of this manifests in stereotypes about women.
1. That women are natural nurturers. Mother's Day is celebrated with this in mind. There are popular quotes like "mother is the word for God on the lips of children." The image of the loving mother is a compelling one. I don't hate this image, because the idea of a good mother is wonderful. But I do not trust it, because of my experiences.
2. That women do not instigate violence or cruelty.
3. That if women DO instigate violence or cruelty, it is a weird, rare thing. There are many who believe, still, that women CANNOT be abusive.
4. That emphasizing women causing men or boys to suffer would take away from limited focus and compassion for women.
Now, I have only met a few people who were women's advocates who admitted that this was a problem. And, to be fair, one of them was a counselor at the Men's Resource Centre I attended which was under the umbrella of a women's health organization.
I am, again, not saying this to stir up resentment for women, but I believe that this is part of why it is hard for men to get help. For my own part, it is part of why I am very cautious about who I talk to about my past.
It seems to me that the best way to deal with this is for men to help one another, to welcome women when they DO want to help (but not to expect compassion or fairness about it) and create stronger support networks for one another.
1. I do not believe all, or even most women are evil. I believe that women, just as men, can have a latent tendency towards a lack of empathy, compassion, responsibility and sense of fairness.
2. Moreover, personally, I do not hate the vast majority of women. I would not be where I am today without two wonderfully loving women--my grandmother and her sister, my great-aunt--who were consistently kind and good to me, though they were powerless to prevent my abuse.
Unfortunate that I must make this disclaimer, but for many progressive people there is a horror of anti-feminism that surpasses any compassion for male victims at times.
One of the things I believe many people struggle with is a societal reluctance to come to terms with the fact that women can be evil, and Many times are .
Part of this manifests in stereotypes about women.
1. That women are natural nurturers. Mother's Day is celebrated with this in mind. There are popular quotes like "mother is the word for God on the lips of children." The image of the loving mother is a compelling one. I don't hate this image, because the idea of a good mother is wonderful. But I do not trust it, because of my experiences.
2. That women do not instigate violence or cruelty.
3. That if women DO instigate violence or cruelty, it is a weird, rare thing. There are many who believe, still, that women CANNOT be abusive.
4. That emphasizing women causing men or boys to suffer would take away from limited focus and compassion for women.
Now, I have only met a few people who were women's advocates who admitted that this was a problem. And, to be fair, one of them was a counselor at the Men's Resource Centre I attended which was under the umbrella of a women's health organization.
I am, again, not saying this to stir up resentment for women, but I believe that this is part of why it is hard for men to get help. For my own part, it is part of why I am very cautious about who I talk to about my past.
It seems to me that the best way to deal with this is for men to help one another, to welcome women when they DO want to help (but not to expect compassion or fairness about it) and create stronger support networks for one another.
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