Have you found people who validate you?
SubtleStuff
Registrant
Hi y'all,
I've been very slowly and very carefully reading Oprah's and Dr. Perry's recent book called "What Happened to You?" . It's been challenging because, although incredibly insightful, it triggers my anger regularly. It exposes the intense denial around the source of my health challenges which I experience from many sources, my mother being the most powerfully triggering. In the book they mention the importance of people who validate you as you pursue healing:
"Oprah: “What you are really looking for is somebody to reinforce the idea that “Hey, I’m not crazy. I’m thinking or feeling this way because something that happened to me, and I’m having a reasonable reaction. And that person validates that for you.”
Dr. Perry: “Exactly, and, in “seeing” you, they regulate you.” page 114"
Have you encountered people like this? I can think of only 2 people in twenty years who fit this description in my life. One told me that what my mother did to me was criminal. The other was shocked when I described the emotional context of my birth. Two therapists partially validated my experience even though they couldn't do much to help me. One said that I was the "Emotional football in my parents' battles", the other said that he was "amazed that I was still alive!". I wish I had more people available to me that can empathize with my pain. According to the book, it's crucial to healing. Have you had better luck than I?
Cheers,
Garth
I've been very slowly and very carefully reading Oprah's and Dr. Perry's recent book called "What Happened to You?" . It's been challenging because, although incredibly insightful, it triggers my anger regularly. It exposes the intense denial around the source of my health challenges which I experience from many sources, my mother being the most powerfully triggering. In the book they mention the importance of people who validate you as you pursue healing:
"Oprah: “What you are really looking for is somebody to reinforce the idea that “Hey, I’m not crazy. I’m thinking or feeling this way because something that happened to me, and I’m having a reasonable reaction. And that person validates that for you.”
Dr. Perry: “Exactly, and, in “seeing” you, they regulate you.” page 114"
Have you encountered people like this? I can think of only 2 people in twenty years who fit this description in my life. One told me that what my mother did to me was criminal. The other was shocked when I described the emotional context of my birth. Two therapists partially validated my experience even though they couldn't do much to help me. One said that I was the "Emotional football in my parents' battles", the other said that he was "amazed that I was still alive!". I wish I had more people available to me that can empathize with my pain. According to the book, it's crucial to healing. Have you had better luck than I?
Cheers,
Garth