Veteran's Day
It's been another Veterans day, I've spent the evening alone and the later it gets, the more I think about the life I've had, and the life I wanted. My friends know I've had a different war. They know of the abuse and assaults, and that my battles continue. A friend that's still active duty told me I completed my 20 year commitment and then some as I spend the rest of my life trying to heal. I trust him but don't completely feel it. I hope that changes because there's a guilt when someone in the general public assumes the origins of my struggles. I feel I'm nobody's hero. My thinking is more like, "I was a man.....once", and know they'd look passed me if they knew what my deal really is.
I've just been shedding more tears tonight, sitting here thinking about how many other Vets are hurting like I am, how many feel alone and didn't get out today, whether it's TBI, combat PTSD, MST, cPTSD, a combination, or other things. I think of all of those who served before me, and I'm missing my Grandpa who left me with a handful of memories that have gotten me through all these years.
I've just been shedding more tears tonight, sitting here thinking about how many other Vets are hurting like I am, how many feel alone and didn't get out today, whether it's TBI, combat PTSD, MST, cPTSD, a combination, or other things. I think of all of those who served before me, and I'm missing my Grandpa who left me with a handful of memories that have gotten me through all these years.