Things boys discover

Things boys discover
Things boys discover...

"What do you mean you don't have any money, mom? Go buy some!"
 
Thanks for this post roadrunner. I haven't been on in a while but was having a bad week. Nice to see some uplifting stuff. Adding to the list:
-When dad takes you to the hardware store, those cheap balsa wood gliders by the cash registers are there for one reason, young boys.
-Your sister's dolls do not fit in GI.Joe cars
-Bubblegum in a sibling's hair is funny until it's yours.
-Peeing outdoors is always better than inside.
-Drinking out of the garden hose was never a bad thing.
-Throwing said garden hose, with a handle like a grappling hook, only works a couple times for climbing the fence.
-Wanting to grow up and have stubble like dad was cool until you realized what a pain in ass shaving is.
-Dad still smells good even after you've grown up and realize that Old Spice is cheap shit.
 
Brut after shave DOES burn and the flames will flow under closed doors.
 
- Taping your little brother to the floor with duct tape is hilarious...your parents won't find it as funny though
- hamsters hibernate...so you shouldn't bury them in the back yard thinking they have died when they start said hibernation.
- waking your brother up after he has a nap and convincing him that it's time for school (at 6:30pm) may also be hilarious but he won't think so.
- flapping your arms as fast as you can will not help you fly...it will land you in A+E with a fractured ankle, however.
- Standing outside the local off-licence and asking a stranger to buy your alcohol so you can partake in underage drinking will only result in the stranger taking your money and running away with your hard earned cash.
- cats do not appreciate getting a new haircut with the clippers.
- learning that you can run really fast because crashing into that wasp's nest with your bike really upset the wasps.
- also learning that wasps do not give up that easily.
- trying to wash the dry cement out of your hair,that you found on the building site, will only result in chemical burns and a new, unscheduled haircut.
- lastly it doesn't matter how difficult things get, you will survive it and you will be much stronger for it!
 
A rotten tomato shot from a slingshot at a cat or a squirrel is more fun than at a garbage can.
 
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when you learn you can ride your bike faster than you older brother
 
I'm not a boy, but I have discovered that in a pinch, if your hands are really dry, your girlfriend's body butter works. It makes the palms of your hands really shiny though.
 
The liquid mercury you extracted from several thermometers will always be there, dozens of glistening little silver balls, under the bed where the cat can eat them.
 
when trying to get a car to stop parking in the way of wiffle ball, taking the air out of tires does nothing but get you in trouble
 
The obvious lesson I discovered as a boy ( & kept trying into early adulthood) was: just because you have sex with someone, doesn't mean they love you or like even like you at all.
 
Whatever you think will slide down the stairs like the laundry basket or cardboard box won't and if your brother and his friends are trying to get you to do a thing let that be a warning (you'll do it anyway I know)
 
-Throwing things at your brothers wont solve any arguments

-feeing the vegetables I to the dog under the dinner table won't work I feel the dog hates veg

-you're only as weird As you make yourself

-never enter a talent competition on the day of the competition
 
That first sunfish I caught, didn't survive that can.

Star Trek characters in my nightmare made good sacrifices to that bizarre tyrannosaurus rex. We were trapped in a giant concrete culvert pipe, exposed on both ends.... it ate them, not me.
 
That parents can ask the stupidest questions on Earth.

Like when they open the back door while you are at play and yell, "Are You Looking For A Spanking?!!!"

What the..... "NO!" "Well, It Sure Looks Like It To Me!"

I simply thought it was an excellent idea to dig out a basement for my cardboard fort in the backyard. Using my kid logic this would mean less grass to cut, Brilliant!

Why can't parents understand these simple things??!!
 
I simply thought it was an excellent idea to dig out a basement for my cardboard fort in the backyard. Using my kid logic this would mean less grass to cut, Brilliant!

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Cargo shorts or pants are great for carrying everything you need: coins, rocks, matchbox cars, pocket knife, magnifying glass, various crayons, snacks or even a small pet (just don’t squish them)
 
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