Someone I knew was arrested for child porn

[JayBro]

TRIGGER WARNING

My anxiety and PTSD symptoms have been a little higher than usual this past 8 or 9 months, with much of it directly related to my abuse experiences but some of it also just having to do with uni and work stress (and I guess then how I tie up my self-confidence with such inaccurate measures of "worth"). However, in the last 1.5 weeks I have been particularly disturbed because I found out that someone who lived in my 40 person residence during 1st year of uni, someone who I knew and whose family I knew, was arrested for accessing, possessing, and distributing child pornography- the exact crime which has victimized and tormented me so much! Apparently, he was being investigated by the police in my former uni town and they raided his apartment. In a few months time there will be a court appearance.

This is has been circulated a lot in the local news. The media generally in Canada reports quite a lot on child pornography investigations, with stories almost every other day. Needless to say, they trigger me tremendously, but this latest story has really hit home. I have never known someone before who consumed child abuse imagery, yet alone lived in the same small residence. Most first year uni residence accommodations in Canada have several 100 students, but our residence was a special arts-focused community where we needed to write special applications in order to get in. We had weekly residence events and everyone knew each other real well during that year and in the subsequent years. In addition, I knew this guy's sister previously because she used to sit next to me in Grade 7 of elementary school.

So yeah, this has hit me way too close to home and has made me feel extremely uncomfortable, sad, mad, powerless, but also made me feel pity for him, his family and friends, and, of course, his victims. It makes me wonder, did he collect and look at child abuse imagery while we lived under the same roof?
When I first found out (which was via Facebook), I was in shock and disbelief. I went to his Facebook page thinking, well there's got to be other people in town with the same name?... I verified his age as reported in the news articles, and someone else verified his Facebook page name which was slightly different than his legal name. The next day I went again and his page was taken down.

I feel real tormented and incredibly shaken, however it is difficult to physically manifest my feelings. I am burying myself in work and trying to visit friends, but I am going through continuous anxiety attacks almost everyday thinking about him or other stuff. There has also been an increase in triggering material I am seeing in shows like Family Guy or in movies which used to be my go-to to unwind and have a laugh when feeling triggered; now they are becoming a new source of triggers. :-/

In 1.5 months he has his court date and so I think the news media will have updates on the story.

 

[Sterling]

That is sad.
You care.
I get triggered easy ; and have been
triggered watching family guy.
Sorry .
Awareness will lead us to better.
Take care JayBro.

 

[traveler]

JayBro -

I am so sorry to hear of this situation which has affected you so personally and negatively. I can empathize with what you are going through because a similar thing happened to me a year or so ago.

A guy I knew in university was indicted, tried and convicted on charges of possessing and distributing child pornography and is now in prison. I was not especially close to him in university but we have kept in touch from time to time through the years. We were both in education - and what made his crime so much worse was that he was a specialist in early childhood and spoke and wrote books on the topic and was widely respected.

after I heard the news I felt physically ill. I felt dirty from having been associated with him even in years ago in the past. I felt personally betrayed and violated. I even felt some weird sense of guilt and shame as though the mere acquaintance with him made me culpable by association, even though I had known nothing about it and would not have approved or participated. I could not stop thinking about it for days.

I don't know what I can offer to help except to say that though it may feel like it, it has nothing to do with you. Try to distance yourself from the whole mess and be thankful that he has been discovered and that hopefully justice will be done.

Lee

 

[lapchinj]

Hey JayBro

Yeah, I hope you can chill a little from this shit. It really hits home when it's close by. It's one thing reading about people being arrested for CSA and then having it hit home.

I had something similar happen to me. I knew a guy for around 30 years. The guy was building and fire inspector plus he was always checking the schools around. He was really well known and pretty high in the pecking order in the county where I live. His office was near the school that my kids went to. They all graduated already and have families of their own. My son in law was over for diner a couple of years back and I did't know what to talk about except that he worked in one of the school building that this guy used to take care of. I asked my son in law how come the guy retired he was only in his 40's. I had spoken to this guy earlier in the year and asked him why did he give up his job. He told me that it was time. We knew each other but it's not like we played cards together but if we ran across each other we would share the latest BS. He had left the country.

My son in law told me that he was forced to move because he was molesting kids. He told me that he was molesting kids for the past 30 years since he got his job. I was floored because my kids were in school during those years and my kids were always the type to help in construction rather than be in school. So when the opportunity came by to work for this guy they grabbed the opportunity.

I went nuts, completely nuts. The blood drained out of my head and I was really dizzy. I finally stood up and started calling and asking my kids if this guy ever touched them. I was so worked up that if any of them had been abused I would have killed myself for not being able to protect my kids. I thought for sure that I would be able to recognize a child molester with my background being so fucked up. I just lost it. I was relieved that none of them were but they knew what this guy was doing. I was floored. (this guys brother was picked up for taking picture of people having sex through motel windows. Another guy I never expected to be a fucken maniac.) I was a hair away from pulling my plug.

To make this story shorter. A councilman in NYC told this guy that if he didn't leave the country he would prosecute him. WTF !!!! . Why didn't he give the guy up? I was really pissed. I told my T what happened and that I wanted to write this councilman and ask him why did he do that. My T said that he would just deny ever knowing about it. I was fuming and there was nothing I could do anything about it.

So this guy is living high off the hog in a different country. He was bought a house there and he gets a weekly payment. I guess this is so the guy keeps his mouth shut about the shit that goes on in the town. The guy was too close to too many politicians.

I'm still upset about all that. A guy can get away with molesting hundreds of kids should be able to go free. He had access to a lot of schools. Every time (including now) I can just throw up. The three kids that wanted him out got him out but they should have taken him to court although there might have been the statute of limitations for those three so they would have to get other smaller kids to press charges. My kids were in high school when they knew it was happening and that was 15 years ago.

I feel safe saying that this friend of yours should go to jail for life. You have no idea what was going on until you sit in court and hear for yourself. If I saw this guy from here I would definitely corner the guy. I just hope I wouldn't do something stupid like beat the crap out of him.

I'm so sorry that your going through this with someone you thought of as a friend. One thing I learned is that a parent cannot let down their guard for a minute. Because you never know who turns up a child molester. You heard about the "Subway Guy". I forget how many years he is going away for. His wife divorced him. His shit wrecked his family not just him. Then you have to imagine how many kids he destroyed.

It's awful, sick and a murderer of souls. I'm sorry that you're going through all this unfortunate and disgusting pain. I can only talk about myself but if it was my friend that was going to court I would be in the first row on the prosecutor's side.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope