New member - tcummins7

tcummins7

New Registrant
Hi, my name is Tom. I will be 72 tomorrow, and was abused when I was 7 years old. I completed 3 years of therapy 2 years ago, and thought I was done dealing with my issues once and for all. I’m doing okay, but the memories just won’t go away.
 

manipulated

Greeter
Hi Tom

Glad you found us but sad for the reasons you are here. I to refused to acknowledge the effects for many many decades. And I too thought of the “dealing” to be linear and come to a conclusion-a Thought that was reinforced by my first two T neither of which was trauma trained or specializing.

At a Weekend of Recovery I first learned that most T in this area like to describe the journey as cyclical or seasonal - changing and getting better but perhaps without a definite beginning or end. That is my experience. The flashbacks no longer explode or occupy my mind - recognizing and releasing is easier. Life is better and so MUCH sweeter than I ever thought possible but memories are exactly that. There is no magical Men In Black memory wiper gizmo...but for me the overwriting of Joy, laughter, unconditional love from others and self has made them truly fade and dim.

My current struggle that has cycled up again is SSA and my current season of this life struggle is to make sure that does not take away the gains and overwrites. You are strong to be here and strong to post.
 

Esterio

Member
Hi Tom

Welcome to MS. sorry for what you have been through. Coming here may help. I don't think the memories that you have will ever real go away you just need to not let them over take you, easier said than done coming here and talking with others does make it easier. I think every time I talk about some parts of my life I am learning they can't hurt me any more they are in my past and need to not take up space in my brain today. It is hard to forget. Good to see you here.

Take Care
Esterio
 

NC-Survivor

Member
... a Thought that was reinforced by my first two T neither of which was trauma trained or specializing.

... At a Weekend of Recovery I first learned that most T in this area like to describe the journey as cyclical or seasonal...
noobie Q.... what does "T" mean
 

manipulated

Greeter
noobie Q.... what does "T" mean
So sorry I should have explained “T” is often used around here as an abbreviation for “therapist” or sometimes used for “therapy” as my first T was a money grubbing quack. Or I Finally see progress and value in my T sessions.

Great question. There is also a list of abbreviations used on the forums. Unfortunately it is a living growing document and not in alphabetical order. You find the Common Abbreviations thread always pinned near the top of the Discussion Board heading of the forum list.
 

WG

Active Registrant
Hi Tom- welcome here, and as the others have said, sorry for the reason you are here. As you walk through your recovery, the memories can dim. One of the reasons they are still around is that for many of us who are trauma/sex abuse survivors, it happened only yesterday. It falls into a category called PTSD. It might help to return to therapy and discuss this further. Do you have anyone in your life to talk this over with? Even if it's not a therapist, there are people out there you can trust (they do exist) and sit down over coffee with to talk to. Processing how you're feeling and what you are experiencing oftentimes takes away the power these memories have over you. This is what I have done - and it has been valuable.
 

F.A.

Member
Hi, my name is Tom. I will be 72 tomorrow, and was abused when I was 7 years old. I completed 3 years of therapy 2 years ago, and thought I was done dealing with my issues once and for all. I’m doing okay, but the memories just won’t go away.
Tom welcome to a safe place to sort it all out.
I finished therapy 3 years ago and over the weekend suppressed memories made me meltdown, back in therapy and on meds.
 

Esterio

Member
Hi Tom

The memories are never going to really go away. You need to put them in the past and remind yourself they are in your past and can't hurt you any more. T told me today that I should not expect they will go away, they will be processed and put in storage where you are not being affected by them everyday. Something can always come along and trigger them again and bring them forward again. What was done to us is never going to leave us it is our history, we need to be able to control them instead of them controlling us is the goal. I feel if I can put them in there place then maybe all the good memories will be able to find space and be the first memories that come to me from my past instead of all that trauma.

I am 64 years old with cPTSD, first trauma was at 3.5 a dog attack. Sexual about started before I started school so before I was under 5 years old and the last time anyone got to me sexual I was 22. I continued to collect trauma's according to my past T till I was 29 that was the year I lost my best friend my Brother. He said I suffered different trauma's over a 26 or 27 year time period.

I hope you have a good day for your birthday tomorrow. Happy Birthday

Take Care
Esterio
 
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