Music, and talk.

Music, and talk.
Sinead has been/is a pretty broken person. I've looked her up from time to time. I'm aware of snippets from about the past 5-6 years and other. These lately she's taken to another spiritual path. I hope it soothes her stormy mind.

I've read some of your posts for a while now @michael07 , we'll talk soon.

Thanks. I look forward to connecting with you.

I've always admired Sinead, her heart and her talent. And yes, she's been through a lot. I think she was in those dreaded Magdalene Laundries. Her The Lion and the Cobra cd was a mainstay at my apartment parties. Especially love Mandinka.
 

 
Good songs CJ!

I got to thinking about 1987-1990 and the Flaming Lips came to my mind. When I wasn't in class, or dealing with certain things about my wife's problem with me, I had to be wasted. Totally if I could, but most of the time I remained on the edge of being wasted. "Because a person has to have something to keep them from going insane".

I can't explain how much anger at the world's near total rejection of anything I believed in, and found so few anywhere I went whom I could bond. I've maintained all of those beliefs, and I know they can get to me owing to the way the world works. I've fought the way of societal norms all my life.

Anyway, the end of this song is the destruction of their piano and that worked for me greatly back then, and sometimes now,

 
It's been a good day. I'm feeling non-binary, and satisfied. I'm feeling on the borderline of a thriving survivor. I haven't been here before. I'm reveling in it at this moment.

Here's the tune that fits.

 
This song is getting into my mixes because of what I wrote in the post above. I'm happy this evening. I can't remember the last time I either said that, or wrote it. I'm not sure I've ever wrote it here?

Mercy, Mercy Me

 
When Ceremony gets to be. To be me; it's a rare event. I had a haircut today. The person thinned it and left it long, just as I asked. He then styled it like I've never seen. He curved it around each side to frame my face, instead of how I comb it back on the right, and the rest on the left. I looked... like me. I looked like I could be, and I liked it. It's my walk, it's being that I'm making.

This songs "you" is me. I sing this to me, I'm the "nobody else like you", I'm the "Gonna give you my heart"

This is the parts of me, to me, and the love I need so badly. All my life the love I need. All my life the love I need.

All my life the love I need.

Is me.

 
I've been posting these songs a long time. I love them all. I love when others share theirs, and especially when they talk a bit or a lot about that song. That's why I want this thread, and will always need it. Music is my therapy, my need, and has been for over 43 years. I started the journey when I was 15, though arguably could share it was when I was 5.

I think @Suwanee shared this here? I love this song, it plays to my heart. My self determination. The will to be me!

 
This is an album I listened to a lot when I was 5. One of my parents owned it, and it was in the console stereo player cabinet. I know I played it quite a bit. I still know it well. I have 50/50 memories from that time. I saw abuse, I was spanked with a belt, and yelled at a lot. I would wander off, and I can see myself playing alone, or maybe with my younger brother? I don't know where my older sister was? we were about a year apart each. I used to go off to a bog/swamp and look at frogs and tadpoles. I would wander into the bog, and then to a railroad track to watch a train. I was always alone down there. Memories after that time are sort of clear, but none that make me want to recall "good times". It's always a sad, lonely kid. A new school, then another, and every year like that until 4th grade. But, after 6th, the horrible bullies destroyed any hopes I had. 7th and 8th, and repeat 8th were just to find pot so I could not think. That's how early not thinking started. I desperately needed to stop thinking. I hated thinking.

Not so much now after these few years of therapy. I'm being more me, and what I might have been if I hadn't been that way back then. None of that my fault. None after my fault. The trauma brain is not someone's fault. Survival mode is not being at fault for it!

 
@Ceremony thanks for making this thread. The songs are 10/10. Listening to some of them now.
I started a thread like this one to share music.

I'll share one on here. Don't look back in anger by Oasis.

I had the guts to tell my best friend about what happened to me and explained to him that was the reason I was always depressed and angry. He said many positive things, but one hurtful statement that I cannot get over: "don't look back in anger." He told me to let it go and forget. But how can I? If I'm hurting constantly from for this situation how can I forget? How can I look back and not get angry? I have only started this journey to recovery but every time this song comes up, I remember that conversation. I hope one day his words come true. I hope that one day I can forgive and won't have to look back and feel angry anymore.

"My soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger
I heard you say "

...at least not today

 
Not sure why I've not shared this yet? Maybe I have? This video holds a poignancy that resonates with my cptsd journey. There is a sincerity, a genuine human condition which has been put to exist in our electronic age. We are ones and zeroes in a vast expanse of intermingled beauty, and human condition.

 
beck & ones and zeroes...


The information is laughing at us
The ticker tape feeds the night
Looking for a lost transmission
A heaven that we left behind

When the information comes
We'll know what we're made from
And the skyline rising
High-rise eyes see through you

Say hello to a mannequin
The ghost of an automaton
The witching hour is summoning up
Armies where they don't belong

When the information comes...
 
why do i keep finding out that singers i liked when i was a teenager were abused??
"Dolores O'Riordan was sexually abused from the age of eight for four years by an unnamed person that her parents trusted."
of course, she suffered from depression & alcoholism, & now she's dead...

Do you notice, do you know?
Do you see me, do you see me?
Does anyone care?

Understand what I've become
It wasn't my design

Does anyone care? Does anyone care?

 
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