Messages

Been a while since I talked to you here. So much has revealed itself in your world since I did. The deleted messages here I guess show the confusion I was in, but now I feel I see clearly. I sense it’s not safe to reach out in our usual ways. So here I am again.

The pieces of the jigsaw seem to almost be complete. Just your piece missing my love. What is it your not saying, but I seem to know at the same time.

It’s ok, it’s always been ok. There’s a reason my path has taken me this way, a reason I’ve learnt so much here and upon my own self discovery.

You’re not alone, never alone. We’re connected and always have been.
Trust your heart and soul. It rings true. Fear can keep us stuck, it keeps us safe but maybe that safety is an illusion. Maybe not good for us, just something we know we can cope with cos we have for so long. The void a leap of faith is the unknown, but trust yourself, that inner knowing and voice.

Reach for those stars, they’re waiting for you. Be the light I see in you. I’m right here waiting too.

Remember all the times before when I’ve said I don’t care what’s happened? Just come home.
I see your light through the dark.
I will be by your side, as I have all this time. Maybe faltered when the mist of illusion descended. But I know you, I know your heart, I know your courage and strength.
I know the burden. The risks.
It’s time. I’m strong, I’ll go the distance. Come home.
 
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HealingHope,

My heart is broken for you. Your love, your hope, your persistence are inspiring to me. You've held out hope since 2015 when you first started here.

Remember all the times before when I’ve said I don’t care what’s happened? Just come home...

It’s time. I’m strong, I’ll go the distance. Come home.
I cried reading this. I cried for you. I cried for him. As a male victim survivor of CSA I know our struggle so easily blinds us of the collateral damage to loved ones. And we so often push away our strongest sources of support. Why? Fear, self-loathing, being overcome by the CSA effects. It's probably a little of all these things.

Your courage is strong, your devotion even stronger. Thank you for being here for him, for you and...for us.

Mike
 
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What do you do when you can do nothing to help?

Seeing you so trapped

The hand of fate brought us together again for these few months

Such a gift

You told me everything, it means the world to have your trust and to know all I knew in my heart while you were away was true

I see you tirelessly trying to find a way out

Without the collateral damage you fear

Just here

Always here

Sometimes a place to lose yourself for a while

Sometimes a place to hear you for as long as you need

Sometimes a place to make sense of things with you for a while

But always a place to love you, see your strength and the light in you that will help you find your way

Coming here today because

I realise you need to reboot

Maybe feel I need you to be something you haven’t the energy to be with me just now

It’s ok

But you know I don’t need you to be anything other than you

However that comes

Just here

Always here
 
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Holding you tight
As you face so much
Real life
Needs real love
Breathe
I’ve got you
I won’t let go
I never let go
Holding you tight
I’m here
Breathe...
Look at me
I see the kindness and courage
In those deep blue eyes
The pain and lost boy
Breathe
Holding you
Always
 
Talking to you like you’re here
Hoping maybe you’ll drop by
Messages left in the usual places
Wondering if they’ve got through
Did you change your number?
Did you forget mine?
Maybe you just can’t find the words.
I still go there and look for you, my heart and soul longing to reconnect.
Wondering if you’ve dropped by but can’t get through.
Looking for clues, codes, turning every stone for news.
Those secret places where we forgot the world
Remembering those special times, two unlikely souls, our worlds separated us but we always found a way
Fate cast it’s spell with this connection, always calling us back to that place.
No matter how much time passes our spirits reawaken, together we are alive.
I still play the songs that hold our story, feeling close to you.
Seeing you in my dreams, hearing you in my thoughts.
This invisible thread that has brought us back to that place so many times before.
Messages... are you listening? Secret codes and secrets kept.
Your special place where you used to share your burdens and troubles.
I’m here, I’m listening but you don’t have to say a word.
Stunning, beautiful
 
What are we to learn
It doesn’t make sense
The pain of separation
Running and reunion
Our pattern for years
What am I missing
Why does it still hurt
Memories flooding back
They always came between us
Their cage
Their threats
Their control
But they couldn’t control our hearts
Our souls
The pain of our separation like a storm raging
Then the calm as I connect to your face in my dreams
The man whose stren
gth will see him through
The man who will surprise them all
The man that I love with all my heart.
wow, another great one. such a gift
 
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