I thought it was normal..
It's quite a shock when you experienced male on male sexual behavior from 10 thru 14, thinking this was normal behavior, to all of a sudden,at 15, a "friend" calls you a queer for the first time, & then proceeds to force you to have sex with him anyway. The trauma, the shame is devastating. That's when trust went out the window & fear and paranoia replaced it for quite a while.