How is healthy sexual attraction supposed to feel?
Hey guys--
So, I've had a question lately that has been bugging me...what is normal, healthy sexual attraction in a loving relationship (gay or straight) supposed to feel like? If there are those of us who struggle with compulsive sexual activities, i.e., porn/masturbation or sex addiction, is the feeling we get from engaging in those activities the same as when in a loving relationship? Is it supposed to feel the same?
Whenever I see certain porn, namely -- oral sex scenes with depersonalized males (focus on body parts--definitely related to the abuse I suffered from my brother and uncle), some threesome scenes (possibly related to my bullying/abuse by my uncle, brother, and some of my brother's friends??) -- I feel an intoxicating rush mixed with anxiety, fear, and woundedness. I can feel PTSD-like symptoms for days...but the intensity of the sexual arousal is stronger than I've ever felt in any other situation.
Does this mean that I am supposed to be engaging in illicit sex to be my "true self" whatever that means?
Vanilla sex with my wife feels satisfying, good, sometimes very good, and fulfilling--sometimes female or lesbian porn feels very tantalizing and gives me a tremendous surge--sex with my wife prior to marriage was also "taboo" (I'm religious) and felt very strong--but again, none of the above is ever quite as intense as masturbating while watching other men perform certain sexual acts. Intense is the best word, because it doesn't feel 100% good per se, but on fire, narcotic almost, and then of course with the after-affects that I'm sure we're all aware of.
Is this just because this is related to my first sexual imprinting/abuse? Or does it indicate an orientation?
So, I've had a question lately that has been bugging me...what is normal, healthy sexual attraction in a loving relationship (gay or straight) supposed to feel like? If there are those of us who struggle with compulsive sexual activities, i.e., porn/masturbation or sex addiction, is the feeling we get from engaging in those activities the same as when in a loving relationship? Is it supposed to feel the same?
Whenever I see certain porn, namely -- oral sex scenes with depersonalized males (focus on body parts--definitely related to the abuse I suffered from my brother and uncle), some threesome scenes (possibly related to my bullying/abuse by my uncle, brother, and some of my brother's friends??) -- I feel an intoxicating rush mixed with anxiety, fear, and woundedness. I can feel PTSD-like symptoms for days...but the intensity of the sexual arousal is stronger than I've ever felt in any other situation.
Does this mean that I am supposed to be engaging in illicit sex to be my "true self" whatever that means?
Vanilla sex with my wife feels satisfying, good, sometimes very good, and fulfilling--sometimes female or lesbian porn feels very tantalizing and gives me a tremendous surge--sex with my wife prior to marriage was also "taboo" (I'm religious) and felt very strong--but again, none of the above is ever quite as intense as masturbating while watching other men perform certain sexual acts. Intense is the best word, because it doesn't feel 100% good per se, but on fire, narcotic almost, and then of course with the after-affects that I'm sure we're all aware of.
Is this just because this is related to my first sexual imprinting/abuse? Or does it indicate an orientation?
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