Healing
Tryingtolive
Registrant
I wonder if I ever will heal.
Too many questions to fill.
I no longer feel.
all this pain i try to kill.
Sit back and wonder.
Is healing real?
Anxiety, only time can heal.
I latch onto things to help cope.
Some healthy some not.
Chasing a feeling of solace.
I freeze up.
Moments, things, places take me back.
I’d be lieing if I said ptsd wasn’t a thing.
Well some people believe it ain’t.
For some things I should say.
How easy it is for someone who hasn’t experienced abuse.
Not only is my adult self shattered.
But my childhood in crumbled.
When both things collide that’s when you realize you need to heal.
I’ve missed out on so much.
Won’t visit things, will avoid things, or won’t even think back to when I was kid.
Although I’m forced to.
Memories pop in and out.
Happiness runs away from me it seems.
Friends and family will never understand me.
Behind a smile you can hide Almost everything.
some would never imagine what I’d been through.
It’s the same for me as well.
I find it’s hard to accept things when others around you won’t.
I minimize my biggest hardships and let little things get the best of me.
I fall and I’m not willing to get back up.
I accept failure.
I accept who iam not.
I shake my head yes when I really mean no.
No one knows.
Life is a game.
And I’m losing it.
I’m afraid of letting go.
Holding on to the past.
Seems it’s taken me.
I can’t shake it.
My imagination the only thing I have.
I’m Free when I’m zoned out.
PTSD is real.
For someone that has been abused.
Love is hard to express.
When you don’t understand it.
Connection and intmacy I won’t accept it.
Anger and bitterness is easy to show.
No one will be attached.
See how weak I can get.
I’m a man who must show I’m not a coward.
But I’m a boy who must admit he was.
Too many questions to fill.
I no longer feel.
all this pain i try to kill.
Sit back and wonder.
Is healing real?
Anxiety, only time can heal.
I latch onto things to help cope.
Some healthy some not.
Chasing a feeling of solace.
I freeze up.
Moments, things, places take me back.
I’d be lieing if I said ptsd wasn’t a thing.
Well some people believe it ain’t.
For some things I should say.
How easy it is for someone who hasn’t experienced abuse.
Not only is my adult self shattered.
But my childhood in crumbled.
When both things collide that’s when you realize you need to heal.
I’ve missed out on so much.
Won’t visit things, will avoid things, or won’t even think back to when I was kid.
Although I’m forced to.
Memories pop in and out.
Happiness runs away from me it seems.
Friends and family will never understand me.
Behind a smile you can hide Almost everything.
some would never imagine what I’d been through.
It’s the same for me as well.
I find it’s hard to accept things when others around you won’t.
I minimize my biggest hardships and let little things get the best of me.
I fall and I’m not willing to get back up.
I accept failure.
I accept who iam not.
I shake my head yes when I really mean no.
No one knows.
Life is a game.
And I’m losing it.
I’m afraid of letting go.
Holding on to the past.
Seems it’s taken me.
I can’t shake it.
My imagination the only thing I have.
I’m Free when I’m zoned out.
PTSD is real.
For someone that has been abused.
Love is hard to express.
When you don’t understand it.
Connection and intmacy I won’t accept it.
Anger and bitterness is easy to show.
No one will be attached.
See how weak I can get.
I’m a man who must show I’m not a coward.
But I’m a boy who must admit he was.