dropped out of therapy.. again
sand shore
Member
I've dropped out of therapy.. again, after 6 sessions. I had multiply problems with this T. - some weird issues with communication about payments, or her controlling the pace of disclosure and me feeling completely helpless, unable to stop or feel anything.
She did feel a lot during our sessions, she cried, she talked about her feelings a lot, and i guess it frightened me, i felt it leaves no space for my feelings. It felt like she was watching a horror movie - my life - and was deeply into that.
I was open about some of my maladaptive behaviors, like overeating and drinking.
Our last session ended up, after she rummaged through my relation problems which i also didn't feel ready to discuss - i am going though a difficult new job setting, but it was not interesting enough for her - she wanted to dig into my personal life, and i am having a hard time stopping conversation.
So, she said in the end, you should stop drinking, start doing yoga etc. etc. to deal with your feelings, and she will not be available for extra sessions for which i asked as a possible resource, because i must deal with my emotions myself.. Right...
I know yoga is good and drinking is bad, i am not an idiot.. I also know i am responsible for my emotions, but i kinda wanted help with that part..
When i said i understand that, but i am not sure if i have a resource to pull it all out she said "she believes in me". Sounded pretty much she washed her hands, which i told her, and that was the end of the session.
I walked around for couple of hours, pondered that, and wrote i want to cancel next appointment because i lack resources. That's it, i guess i am lost again.. Will take at least couple of month before trying to get a T. again.
Any thoughts are most welcome..
She did feel a lot during our sessions, she cried, she talked about her feelings a lot, and i guess it frightened me, i felt it leaves no space for my feelings. It felt like she was watching a horror movie - my life - and was deeply into that.
I was open about some of my maladaptive behaviors, like overeating and drinking.
Our last session ended up, after she rummaged through my relation problems which i also didn't feel ready to discuss - i am going though a difficult new job setting, but it was not interesting enough for her - she wanted to dig into my personal life, and i am having a hard time stopping conversation.
So, she said in the end, you should stop drinking, start doing yoga etc. etc. to deal with your feelings, and she will not be available for extra sessions for which i asked as a possible resource, because i must deal with my emotions myself.. Right...
I know yoga is good and drinking is bad, i am not an idiot.. I also know i am responsible for my emotions, but i kinda wanted help with that part..
When i said i understand that, but i am not sure if i have a resource to pull it all out she said "she believes in me". Sounded pretty much she washed her hands, which i told her, and that was the end of the session.
I walked around for couple of hours, pondered that, and wrote i want to cancel next appointment because i lack resources. That's it, i guess i am lost again.. Will take at least couple of month before trying to get a T. again.
Any thoughts are most welcome..