Alcohol to numb or Alcoholic?? Survivor thoughts?
HISWIFE317
Registrant
So I just recently posted "Here again, never should have left".
I'm pretty sure my husband just hit his bottom since my last post. Second DUI in two years and this one cost him his job at 47yo. Over 100mph on his motorcycle. He is a mess over this and he's moving back home. I feel better that he is going to be with me but he's really in a bad spot right now. It's scary at times. I'm not pushing him, I'm being supportive and encouraging. I understand he's dealing with a lot on his own right now and doesn't need me badgering him about things. I'm being patient and letting him figure out his way and hoping he knows I'm here to help where I can and if he needs it.
But my question is this. We were sitting on the couch and he asked if I wanted to have a drink. I said no. (I'm not and never have been a big drinker) And it's never just a drink. This one consisted of 2 beers and half a bottle of old champagne he found in the fridge. I asked him if he thought he was an alcoholic and he said I'm not an alcoholic. He got a little defensive, which I overlooked as he tried to explain by saying, that sometimes he just needs a drink to basically make the thoughts go away. Which I somewhat understand from reading books about CSA, that survivors drink to "numb the pain". But essentially, isn't this still a form of alcoholism?
Next question? Does he deal with the use of alcohol with his CSA therapist because that's why he's drinking or is it something that needs to be dealt with separately? His attorney would like him to get a drug and alcohol assessment which he believes will help with leniency when he goes to court but he doesn't seem to be on board with that. I can't really tell.
I'm not pushing him to stop drinking or to go get the assessment because I know it's something he has to do on his own. If he's going to drink, I can't stop him. But I know there are things I can do. For example, not being an enabler.
In case you're wondering, I'm okay. Just really worried.
As always, appreciate your input.
Thank you,
HISWIFE317
"Leaving is easy; loving is hard."
~Meridith Grey
I'm pretty sure my husband just hit his bottom since my last post. Second DUI in two years and this one cost him his job at 47yo. Over 100mph on his motorcycle. He is a mess over this and he's moving back home. I feel better that he is going to be with me but he's really in a bad spot right now. It's scary at times. I'm not pushing him, I'm being supportive and encouraging. I understand he's dealing with a lot on his own right now and doesn't need me badgering him about things. I'm being patient and letting him figure out his way and hoping he knows I'm here to help where I can and if he needs it.
But my question is this. We were sitting on the couch and he asked if I wanted to have a drink. I said no. (I'm not and never have been a big drinker) And it's never just a drink. This one consisted of 2 beers and half a bottle of old champagne he found in the fridge. I asked him if he thought he was an alcoholic and he said I'm not an alcoholic. He got a little defensive, which I overlooked as he tried to explain by saying, that sometimes he just needs a drink to basically make the thoughts go away. Which I somewhat understand from reading books about CSA, that survivors drink to "numb the pain". But essentially, isn't this still a form of alcoholism?
Next question? Does he deal with the use of alcohol with his CSA therapist because that's why he's drinking or is it something that needs to be dealt with separately? His attorney would like him to get a drug and alcohol assessment which he believes will help with leniency when he goes to court but he doesn't seem to be on board with that. I can't really tell.
I'm not pushing him to stop drinking or to go get the assessment because I know it's something he has to do on his own. If he's going to drink, I can't stop him. But I know there are things I can do. For example, not being an enabler.
In case you're wondering, I'm okay. Just really worried.
As always, appreciate your input.
Thank you,
HISWIFE317
"Leaving is easy; loving is hard."
~Meridith Grey